The summer flew by and at some point we will back-fill our story about how we have progressed since our boys first came home... from blueberry picking to Hershey Park, to the beach and nearby parks to swimming in our pool and summer school, we had a summer full of fun and learning!
For now though, I am uploading some videos that we took while in Birobidjan. I hope that this helps traveling families to get a feel of the town.
Please contact me if you have any questions.
All the best, Deb
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Dump trucks
While shopping for groceries for our Father's Day BBQ, my son Misha saw a box of sugary cereal with a dump truck on the front of the box. This was my first grocery shopping experience alone with the boys since we arrived home from Russia in early May. Of course I said no to the cereal, because he and his brother have enough naturally occurring energy and do not need extra sugar to add to their activity levels.
Well, Misha had a fit about my saying no. If the truth be told, his fit was more like a full-blown tantrum. In the store. While I am pushing him in the cart, along with his brother Sasha. And there are lots of shoppers because of Father's Day the next day. Here is how the three-way conversation went down...
"Dump truck, dump truck, ya kachoo (I want) dump truck," yells Misha at the top of his lungs. "No, we are not buying the dump truck cereal, we already have cereal at home," I reply in my best patient-Mama voice. Sasha chimes in "Slusheit (listen to) Mama, no dump truck!" Each of these sentences are repeated multiple times as I hurriedly push my cart to get what I need and get out of the store with at least some semblance of honor and sanity. But the kicker is this...
Since Misha is Russian-speaking and just learning English since he and his brother were adopted in April and came home in May his pronunciation is still developing. So he pronounces "Dump truck" as "Dumb *uck!" Yes, the f-word comes out loud and clear in place of the work "truck"! Nobody can prepare new mothers of older adoptive children for this kind of experience. It's just not in the adoption books, or websites, or community boards online.
So, I continue to emphatically reply and annuciate the words dumP and TRuck up and down the aisles. My goal is to get to the deli counter where all I want is a ball of fresh mozzarella cheese to go with the tomatoes and basil already in the cart. The deli man asks if he can get anything for me. I reply, "hopefully you have sanity on sale back there, because I'd appreciate getting a pound or two". Listening to the dumb-*uck tantrum going on in my cart he replies, "Lady, I feel for you. I've got a pre-schooler at home too. Don't worry, things will get better soon." And he was right. Things did get better... as soon as my little darlings fell asleep on the way home in the car. Ahhhh, what a luxury silence can be!
Well, Misha had a fit about my saying no. If the truth be told, his fit was more like a full-blown tantrum. In the store. While I am pushing him in the cart, along with his brother Sasha. And there are lots of shoppers because of Father's Day the next day. Here is how the three-way conversation went down...
"Dump truck, dump truck, ya kachoo (I want) dump truck," yells Misha at the top of his lungs. "No, we are not buying the dump truck cereal, we already have cereal at home," I reply in my best patient-Mama voice. Sasha chimes in "Slusheit (listen to) Mama, no dump truck!" Each of these sentences are repeated multiple times as I hurriedly push my cart to get what I need and get out of the store with at least some semblance of honor and sanity. But the kicker is this...
Since Misha is Russian-speaking and just learning English since he and his brother were adopted in April and came home in May his pronunciation is still developing. So he pronounces "Dump truck" as "Dumb *uck!" Yes, the f-word comes out loud and clear in place of the work "truck"! Nobody can prepare new mothers of older adoptive children for this kind of experience. It's just not in the adoption books, or websites, or community boards online.
So, I continue to emphatically reply and annuciate the words dumP and TRuck up and down the aisles. My goal is to get to the deli counter where all I want is a ball of fresh mozzarella cheese to go with the tomatoes and basil already in the cart. The deli man asks if he can get anything for me. I reply, "hopefully you have sanity on sale back there, because I'd appreciate getting a pound or two". Listening to the dumb-*uck tantrum going on in my cart he replies, "Lady, I feel for you. I've got a pre-schooler at home too. Don't worry, things will get better soon." And he was right. Things did get better... as soon as my little darlings fell asleep on the way home in the car. Ahhhh, what a luxury silence can be!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Snacks- the saving grace
If I could offer advice for traveling with little kids, whether it's a quick run to the grocery store or a longer trip by car or plane it's this... bring snacks and drinks! I learned early on that nothing beats whine-a-ria* better than those little cheesey-fishy crackers, or some pretzels, cucumbers, apples, whatever their favorite snack-of-the-week may be!
When all else fails and no amount of reasoning, cajoling or otherwise sensible conversation will stop the whining, give 'em something to eat or drink! It works like a charm and helps you get to your destination without twitching too much :>).
Being the one who spends the most time with our newly-adopted sons, I gave this advice to my husband as he was carting the boys off for a home-store run one day for some tools or supplies that he needed. Did he take my advice that day? One of my husband's favorite t-shirts states...
"my wife says I never listen to her, at least that's what I think she said." Well, let's just say that after that first trip to the store alone with the kids he now asks what type of snacks we have in the house! Yes, new lessons can be learned at any age or stage.
* whine-a-ria- that awful sound that comes from the back seat of the car making you temporarily sorry that you couldn't wait to be called "mama". You know, the "Maaaaamaaaaa, I'm hungryyyyyy," or "Maaaaamaaa, wherrrrrre are weeeeeee goinnnnng, " or "fill in your own child's whine here"....
When all else fails and no amount of reasoning, cajoling or otherwise sensible conversation will stop the whining, give 'em something to eat or drink! It works like a charm and helps you get to your destination without twitching too much :>).
Being the one who spends the most time with our newly-adopted sons, I gave this advice to my husband as he was carting the boys off for a home-store run one day for some tools or supplies that he needed. Did he take my advice that day? One of my husband's favorite t-shirts states...
"my wife says I never listen to her, at least that's what I think she said." Well, let's just say that after that first trip to the store alone with the kids he now asks what type of snacks we have in the house! Yes, new lessons can be learned at any age or stage.
* whine-a-ria- that awful sound that comes from the back seat of the car making you temporarily sorry that you couldn't wait to be called "mama". You know, the "Maaaaamaaaaa, I'm hungryyyyyy," or "Maaaaamaaa, wherrrrrre are weeeeeee goinnnnng, " or "fill in your own child's whine here"....
Friday, May 8, 2009
May 8, 2009- Sasha and Misha become US Citizens!
Today we arrived home from Russia after spending 3.5 weeks in-country to adopt our two wonderful sons, Sasha, age 5 and Misha, age 4.
The minute we landed on US soil, our boys became US Citizens. We went through immigration and thankfully the staff helped us through quickly. We handed in our still-sealed manilla envelopes and that was that. They told us that their citizenship papers would come in a couple of months.
Hooray, we are now a family of 4, plus two dogs and a cat!
Today we arrived home from Russia after spending 3.5 weeks in-country to adopt our two wonderful sons, Sasha, age 5 and Misha, age 4.
The minute we landed on US soil, our boys became US Citizens. We went through immigration and thankfully the staff helped us through quickly. We handed in our still-sealed manilla envelopes and that was that. They told us that their citizenship papers would come in a couple of months.
Hooray, we are now a family of 4, plus two dogs and a cat!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Gotcha Day Video- May 4, 2009
We made this video of our final drive from the Vostok Hotel to Biro #5 to pick up our boys for good. Vova, our translator was nice enough to take the video from the front seat and tell us what we were looking at- thanks, Vova!
We pass by the movie theater, victory square, the town square in front of the Vostok hotel, the train station, the bus station, buildings under construction and other stores, homes, towns-people, etc. And then we arrive at "Deski Dom", Birobidjan Orphanage #5, our children's home until today. As we approach we see Misha and then Sasha. They knew that we were coming soon and were keeping a lookout until we arrived.
The boys were thrilled to see us because that meant that they were going to be riding in the car again, and then going on an airplane.
This was an emotional day for all of us. Their caretakers had tears in their eyes as we dressed the boys in their new clothes and took them out of the orphanage for good. Lubov, the director of the orphange gave the boys and me a hug goodbye. She really made an impression on us during our stay and we are forever grateful for all that she taught and did for our boys while they were in her care.
We pass by the movie theater, victory square, the town square in front of the Vostok hotel, the train station, the bus station, buildings under construction and other stores, homes, towns-people, etc. And then we arrive at "Deski Dom", Birobidjan Orphanage #5, our children's home until today. As we approach we see Misha and then Sasha. They knew that we were coming soon and were keeping a lookout until we arrived.
The boys were thrilled to see us because that meant that they were going to be riding in the car again, and then going on an airplane.
This was an emotional day for all of us. Their caretakers had tears in their eyes as we dressed the boys in their new clothes and took them out of the orphanage for good. Lubov, the director of the orphange gave the boys and me a hug goodbye. She really made an impression on us during our stay and we are forever grateful for all that she taught and did for our boys while they were in her care.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
It's official- we're now a family of four!
Our court proceeding went very well today. Both the judge and the prosecutor were firm, but fair in their questions. Paul addressed the court when we were asked why we wanted to adopt Sasha and Misha, why Russia, what about the financial crisis and what would we do if we changed our minds. Paul spoke and answered questions for about an hour. He did very well and spoke from his heart. When my turn for questions came they were more about taking care of the children and our family. Our translator was amazing and was able to listen in Russian and translate in English at the same time. We started at 10:15 and were finished with the q&a by noon. The judge then left the court room to go to her chambers to determine her decision on our case. At 12:30 she returned and read a report that summarized the proceedings and at 12:48 our case was approved and we became parents to Sasha and Misha!
After court we celebrated by going to lunch at a very nice restaurant called The Pheasant. Then we visited our boys for about two hours. We started teaching the boys their first names, since Sasha and Misha are their nicknames. It was so cute, because when we asked who is Michael, little Misha would say "I am Michael" very emphatically. And Sasha would say "I am Alex" when we asked who that was. This will help us once the boys go to pre-school and summer camp, but they will always be Sasha and Misha at home and in our hearts.
After court we celebrated by going to lunch at a very nice restaurant called The Pheasant. Then we visited our boys for about two hours. We started teaching the boys their first names, since Sasha and Misha are their nicknames. It was so cute, because when we asked who is Michael, little Misha would say "I am Michael" very emphatically. And Sasha would say "I am Alex" when we asked who that was. This will help us once the boys go to pre-school and summer camp, but they will always be Sasha and Misha at home and in our hearts.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Our court date is April 16th-- Yippee!!
When you least expect something to happen, it usually does. That's how it went with finding out about our court date on Friday....
Last week we received confirmation that the judge had received our paperwork the week of March 23rd, so we we told to expect to hear about our court date by the first week in April, based on the timing of past families. So when I saw our agency's name on caller ID on March 27th, I didn't think anything of it; I just thought that our case worker Michelle was checking in with perhaps a new piece of paperwork needed before our trip. (Trust me, there are always new items to obtain, update, redo, etc, which is another topic altogether.) So, when she told me that she had "the" date, I was stunned. And truthfully somewhat silent, which for me is very unusual, especially on the phone! It took a minute or two for it to sink in... this was real now, after over 3 months since our first visit we had our date! Of course, in my mind it was more like WE HAVE OUR DATE!!!!! then, HOLY COW, NOW WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? My mind raced and then communications to all of our family and friends began...
XOXO- Deb
Last week we received confirmation that the judge had received our paperwork the week of March 23rd, so we we told to expect to hear about our court date by the first week in April, based on the timing of past families. So when I saw our agency's name on caller ID on March 27th, I didn't think anything of it; I just thought that our case worker Michelle was checking in with perhaps a new piece of paperwork needed before our trip. (Trust me, there are always new items to obtain, update, redo, etc, which is another topic altogether.) So, when she told me that she had "the" date, I was stunned. And truthfully somewhat silent, which for me is very unusual, especially on the phone! It took a minute or two for it to sink in... this was real now, after over 3 months since our first visit we had our date! Of course, in my mind it was more like WE HAVE OUR DATE!!!!! then, HOLY COW, NOW WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? My mind raced and then communications to all of our family and friends began...
- Call Paul and celebrate together over the phone.
- Call Mom, and Mom & Dad & Grandma (Paul called his family, I called mine.)
- Call my brother John in Texas. He's so supportive, I really love him a lot!
- Call Aunt Marylynne- who has been under the weather lately, so I hoped my message cheered her up a bit.
- Call Marisa- our Bridge of Hope friend who also hosted last summer. She has been holding my hand and calls me every Wed for the latest update. She and her hubby Nick are doggy-sitting Casey for us while we are in Russia, for which we are very grateful!! And Casey is eager to stay with Aunt Marisa & Uncle Nick for some only-dog attention! (Oliver is staying with grandma in F'dale and Princess is staying with grandma & grandpa in Willie Park, so all of our furry friends are set.)
- Call Mary- my friend who has been on this journey with me from the concept of adoption over two years ago to the camp program last summer, through our trip to meet Misha and beyond. Can't wait for Auntie Mary to meet Misha and see Sasha again.
- Paul said that he would call his brothers, but I was bursting with joy, so I called our sisters-in-law, Michelle and Nicole. Got to speak with Michelle right away, Nicole called back a little later. Very thankful to have family with kids already, because Paul and I have a lot to learn and they are very good about all of us getting together for family bonding!
- Update my Facebook page- wrote something about doing cartwheels, which of course was figurative since I have never been able to literally do a cartwheel ever, even as a kid!
- Send email to our aunts/uncles, cousins, friends, etc
- Call Sue & Greg, who just returned from Russia on 3/25 with their new son Alexander, age 8. Also a Bridge of Hope family who we met through summer hosting last year. Hi Sara, we hope that you are enjoying your new brother! Congratulations on your growing family.
- Call our neighbors so that they know to be on the look-out while we are away.
- See Dr Lee for our travel & learn session as well as get prescriptions and vaccinations before our trip. The tutorial was wonderful and he is a delight. So glad we found him.
- Call Matt our CPA to get an updated income verification letter, notarized, (of course, almost every piece of documentation has required this plus county certification and then an apostille from the State Department!) Also need copy of our 2008 tax return to show at the US Embassy in Moscow prior to bringing our sons home.
- Get updated medical forms from Dr Ferrara since ours expire on 4/5 and our court date is 4/16. Yup, notarized, certified and apostilled, (again!)
- Make hotel reservations for Moscow. (Our coordinator is booking us in Biro, thankfully one less thing for us to do.)
- Complete Visa applications and send with passports, pictures and money order fees to Visa coordinator for processing. No Visa, no travel, so we are happy to have Olga to help us obtain adoption business visas from the Embassy in DC!
- Book airfare to/from Moscow and to/from Khabarovsk. (Birobidjan is then a 3 hour drive west of Khab. That should be a fun ride with the kiddos!)
- Update home study as per US Embassy requirement going into effect on 4/1 (not a joke, this just came up on 3/31!) Rather than stating "minor correctable medical issues", the home study must specify each child's medical diagnosis. Thanks to Michelle for contacting Milena about this! Luckily this report just needs to be notarized, no certification or apostille on this one. Hurray!
- Pack for us and the kids... this has been on-going for the past month or two. Did some shopping and have their clothes laid-out on their beds... Changing out some of the heavy sweaters for lighter clothing, as the weather will be in the 40's during the day instead of the negative temps we experienced in December. (Birobidjan is in Siberia, after all.)
- Already bought and packed a duffle bag full of clothing donations for the orphanage.
- Fix my suitcase, the bottom footer was missing upon our return in December. Bought jeans buttons at the craft store which should cover the holes left behind. We are traveling so long and far that it is not worth purchasing new luggage for this trip.
- Install international calling software on Paul's laptop and test it out.
- Collect DVD's to watch at night since tv programs are in Russian only. (22 days in region, need some entertainment at night.) Thank you santa for my portable DVD player!
- Get a couple of books, same reason as #12
- Continue listening to the Russian/English CD's to cram some more Russian vocab into my very willing but sometimes forgetful brain. This phrase I can't wait to say to our sons... "ya tavaya Mama, sveegda!" (I am your Mommy, forever!) In addition to "are you hungry..." do you have to use the bathroom" and other key phrases, I've also learned to count to 10 and learned my colors, in the hopes that this will be useful/entertaining on the plane rides! (With 8.5 hours from Khabarovsk to Moscow and 10 hours from Moscow to NY, we'll have a lot of time for talking and bonding with our boys!) I already "called" Sasha since our seats are two by two, so Paul will have Misha as his seat-mate. Misha clung to Paul in December, so this should work out fine. Can't wait to report back on our flight experiences!
- Think of other things to do and accomplish before our flight out on Easter Sunday... bathe the dogs, clean the house, finish the laundry, celebrate Paul's Dad's 65 b-day, get our crisp, clean money together, clean out the fridge, notify vendors, bring key contact lists to run WelltodoBaby.com remotely, and so on... and so on...
XOXO- Deb
Monday, March 9, 2009
A watched pot never boils... neither does a watched phone ring with a court date!
I always thought that I was a patient person, but lately I am rethinking that. Why? Because I want that &#*@ phone to ring with our court date! Each day that goes by has been challenging and sort of like riding a roller coaster... spirits are up high each morning with anticipation of getting "the" call, and then they come down fast each night once it's past our agency's office hours. It's like when we were too little to read a calendar but knew that our birthday was coming any day now. Each day you wake up thinking, is today the day? And when it isn't, then disappointment rears its head again.
I saw a terrific shirt on adoptionmama.com that pretty much says it all for PAPs who are waiting for "the" call... "Yes I am still adopting, no I haven't heard yet. But each day brings me closer to my child". This sums it up very succinctly... I love it!
XX Fingers crossed that tomorrow is "the" day!
XOXO to Sasha and Misha
Love, Deb
I saw a terrific shirt on adoptionmama.com that pretty much says it all for PAPs who are waiting for "the" call... "Yes I am still adopting, no I haven't heard yet. But each day brings me closer to my child". This sums it up very succinctly... I love it!
XX Fingers crossed that tomorrow is "the" day!
XOXO to Sasha and Misha
Love, Deb
Monday, February 2, 2009
We had a lot of fun last night watching the Super Bowl.
Paul's brother and his wife host this party every year at their house. The kids are so much fun to play with... K colored some beautiful pictures and E played the violin for us. They set us up nicely with a delicious party-sized foccacia sandwich made with grilled chicken, roasted peppers and other goodies, plus a 4 foot hero that was half American and half Italian- yummy!
As I was eating dinner I wondered if there is such a thing as a "Russian" sandwich or hero
It would be great if we could get one of those for our sons' christening party, in honor of their heritage. (Note: I used my inner voice as I mulled that one over, though, as I am not sure just how much more the family can take of us talking about Russia. I can definitely say that I have Russia on the brain these days because we have completed all of our paperwork and are simply waiting for our court date so we can go over there and bring our sons home.) Our family has been really supportive with weekly phone calls and emails asking how our adoption is progressing, how we are getting things ready at home, how much Russian we have memorized for our flights home, etc. I really appreciate our family's interest, and we have several friends who have been wonderful in terms of support and advice too. Building a family through adoption is a very positive and happy thing, no doubt just like when you have a child biologically.
Paper pregnancies are a conundrum for so many
Unless people have experienced adoption themselves or through a close friend or family member, I've found that people really don't know what to say or how to act around us. We learn at an early age that with a typical natural pregnancy the baby grows and develops throughout the pregnancy until delivery in about 9 months from conception. There are pregnancy books that document what to expect week-by-week and month-by month. The majority of mothers go this route to become mothers, so most are experts on that topic. But adoption still seems to be a mystery of sorts for so many. Even for family, sometimes.
How do you bond when the belly isn't growing, but your family is?
I accidentally saw pictures of my sisters-in-law preggie belly that were taken at monthly intervals at my in-law's place. Even though they hadn't mentioned taking them at the time, probably out of sensitivity to our infertility issues, I can honestly say that I was happy for them to have that bonding experience and shared excitement about bringing a new child into the family. The pictures are a wonderful piece of family history that the children can enjoy in years to come and the adults can reminisce about as well.
So how do you bond with family over the concept (of adoption) when there's no conception (of a biological child)?
In short: It depends on each person. With my Mom, we talk about the activities we will do together with the boys, she's bought them toys to play with and clothes to wear. She has a toy box at her house that is overflowing with books, puzzles and games. (Apparently the toys with the most parts come to our house and the others stay at her house. She says it's in the grandparent's manual, but I'll have to check on that!) My aunt is crocheting both of the boys afghans for their beds, in colors that coordinate with the nautical theme in their room. My friend Mary picked up jogging suits for them and calls me for a weekly update. Paul hears from his brothers all the time about the adoption, and our sister-in-law is a wealth of information about baby websites, teaching reading and counting, health and medical resources and other great things that a new mother should know. My brother has also been so supportive through phone and email. I am truly grateful to everyone's support, for keeping in contact with us and asking for updates when they don't hear from us. This kind of support is invaluable and much appreciated!
Most days there is no update...
Since international adoption is such a waiting game once the paperwork is done, most of the time there is nothing new to report. But our hearts are full of expectations- we are about to become parents for the first time, after all! I've been reading and researching so much about language acquisition, what to look for in a pre-school or camp program, what kids should know by age 4 and 5, the list is endless! I hope that attaining as much knowledge as possible now will help us once the kiddos are actually here and we are a family.
Paul and I know how lucky we are...
...to have each other, to have (finally) found our children, to have our family and friends by our sides. We will be forever grateful to everyone who is sharing our journey of building our family through adoption!
Until next time... xoxo... Deb
Paul's brother and his wife host this party every year at their house. The kids are so much fun to play with... K colored some beautiful pictures and E played the violin for us. They set us up nicely with a delicious party-sized foccacia sandwich made with grilled chicken, roasted peppers and other goodies, plus a 4 foot hero that was half American and half Italian- yummy!
As I was eating dinner I wondered if there is such a thing as a "Russian" sandwich or hero
It would be great if we could get one of those for our sons' christening party, in honor of their heritage. (Note: I used my inner voice as I mulled that one over, though, as I am not sure just how much more the family can take of us talking about Russia. I can definitely say that I have Russia on the brain these days because we have completed all of our paperwork and are simply waiting for our court date so we can go over there and bring our sons home.) Our family has been really supportive with weekly phone calls and emails asking how our adoption is progressing, how we are getting things ready at home, how much Russian we have memorized for our flights home, etc. I really appreciate our family's interest, and we have several friends who have been wonderful in terms of support and advice too. Building a family through adoption is a very positive and happy thing, no doubt just like when you have a child biologically.
Paper pregnancies are a conundrum for so many
Unless people have experienced adoption themselves or through a close friend or family member, I've found that people really don't know what to say or how to act around us. We learn at an early age that with a typical natural pregnancy the baby grows and develops throughout the pregnancy until delivery in about 9 months from conception. There are pregnancy books that document what to expect week-by-week and month-by month. The majority of mothers go this route to become mothers, so most are experts on that topic. But adoption still seems to be a mystery of sorts for so many. Even for family, sometimes.
How do you bond when the belly isn't growing, but your family is?
I accidentally saw pictures of my sisters-in-law preggie belly that were taken at monthly intervals at my in-law's place. Even though they hadn't mentioned taking them at the time, probably out of sensitivity to our infertility issues, I can honestly say that I was happy for them to have that bonding experience and shared excitement about bringing a new child into the family. The pictures are a wonderful piece of family history that the children can enjoy in years to come and the adults can reminisce about as well.
So how do you bond with family over the concept (of adoption) when there's no conception (of a biological child)?
In short: It depends on each person. With my Mom, we talk about the activities we will do together with the boys, she's bought them toys to play with and clothes to wear. She has a toy box at her house that is overflowing with books, puzzles and games. (Apparently the toys with the most parts come to our house and the others stay at her house. She says it's in the grandparent's manual, but I'll have to check on that!) My aunt is crocheting both of the boys afghans for their beds, in colors that coordinate with the nautical theme in their room. My friend Mary picked up jogging suits for them and calls me for a weekly update. Paul hears from his brothers all the time about the adoption, and our sister-in-law is a wealth of information about baby websites, teaching reading and counting, health and medical resources and other great things that a new mother should know. My brother has also been so supportive through phone and email. I am truly grateful to everyone's support, for keeping in contact with us and asking for updates when they don't hear from us. This kind of support is invaluable and much appreciated!
Most days there is no update...
Since international adoption is such a waiting game once the paperwork is done, most of the time there is nothing new to report. But our hearts are full of expectations- we are about to become parents for the first time, after all! I've been reading and researching so much about language acquisition, what to look for in a pre-school or camp program, what kids should know by age 4 and 5, the list is endless! I hope that attaining as much knowledge as possible now will help us once the kiddos are actually here and we are a family.
Paul and I know how lucky we are...
...to have each other, to have (finally) found our children, to have our family and friends by our sides. We will be forever grateful to everyone who is sharing our journey of building our family through adoption!
Until next time... xoxo... Deb
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Paperwork is finished, dossier is complete, awaiting the pitter-patter of little feet!
It started with an informational session...
In January 2008 Paul and I attended an information session about hosting a Russian orphan for summer camp. The purpose of this program is to give the children respite from their lives at the orphanage while learning about another culture during summer vacation. They range from 6 to 12 years old, go to day-camp every day and otherwise live as a family with the hosts. A bonus to this program is that over 90% of the host families choose to adopt the campers. It's not obligatory, but it happens quite often. Since we kept being drawn to the idea of adopting a school-aged child instead of an infant, and were leaning towards international adoption instead of domestic, this program sounded like a great match for us. Plus, the info session was just a town away from us, so it felt like fate was giving us a gentle nudge in that direction...
We filled out our application...
Because we've waited a long time to become parents, Paul and I decided to apply to host siblings instead of just one camper. Our idea was that the children would have each other to speak to during the camp visit. Since we do not speak their language other than reading phonetically from our Russian/English crib-sheets, they would be able to converse in their native Russian. And once we moved forward with the adoption we would have an instant family and they would be a bridge for each other from their past to their present lives. We chose the youngest age group, 6 to 8, because we felt that this age would fit in nicely with our brother's children who live locally to us. We asked for brothers on the application, but also said that we were open to a brother/sister pair as well. When going through the adoption process you learn that the more open you are to many possibilities, the more likely you are to have success. This philosophy truly came into play when we received our referral...
We've been matched, but it's a little different than the others...
The agency called to tell us that this year's campers were a bit different from the past years... they were either much younger than expected or a little older than expected. I held my breath as they told me that we were matched with two brothers, a 4 year old and a 3 year old. This was our match because we had also indicated on our application that we would accept the referral of a sibling set even if one child was too young to participate in the summer camp program. We knew that it would mean an extra trip to Russia to meet the younger child, but it was too soon to think about travel. Besides, the youngest age for this program is 6, so we thought what's the likelihood of a younger sibling, anyhow? Well, you could have scooped me up off of the ground when I received that call! First of all that our camper was only 4, and secondly that he had a brother that was only 3! Like so many times in life, you can make all the plans you want and set your expectations, but what is meant to be happens in spite of your plans. The agency sent us a picture of our camper, Aleksandr. They didn't have his brother Mikhail's picture, but they told us that if we accepted Alek, then the adoption would be contingent upon our adopting both brothers together. Of course we were fine with that. And we were happy with their ages too, because that would mean that they would have less to re-learn when they started school here. Wow, now this was becoming real!
His big brown eyes were soulful
Thank goodness for email because we received Alek's picture right after the referral phone call and he looked so cute! I will always remember what Paul said to me when he opened the email that day... "yes, that's my son!" It clicked for Paul right away. Hook, line and sinker, he fell in love with Alek that day. It really warms my heart to remember this.
I fell in love with Alek when I met him...
He is sweet and fun and sensitive and an absolute delight! With a constant smile on his face and a bit of mischief too, he is a perfect fit for our family. So we told the agency right away that we wanted to adopt him and started to complete the first set of paperwork to move forward with the adoption.
Fast forward to December 2008...
After submitting tons of paperwork since summer camp and becoming more familiar than I ever wanted to be with the local county clerk's offices and the State Department's procedures for getting certifications, authentications and appostiles, we were invited to Russia to meet Mikhail in December 2008! Hooray! Since our referral was a little different than the typical camp referrals, we had to travel on a first trip to meet Alek's brother Mikhail and accept him as our referral. Since we met Alek during camp, we already completed our acceptance documents to proceed with his adoption. After accepting Mikhail's referral, we can then move forward to adopt both boys in one court proceeding. We had a wonderful time meeting Mikhail and reuniting with Alek. Our week went by fast, we submitted the necessary paperwork there and flew home. Saying goodbye was heart-wrenching because Alek understood that we were leaving and was not happy about it. Mikhail is still young and didn't understand. But Alek did and that broke my heart. I know that we will travel soon to adopt them and bring them to their new home, but that knowledge just doesn't fill the void I feel without them. Paul and I watch the videos that we took of them every day, just to feel close to them. Once we complete the adoption we will show our friends and family the video that Paul created about our adoption story.
Our adoption journey will take about 9 months to complete...
We received confirmation last week that the rest of our dossier will deliver this week to our region in Russia. The coordinator told us when we saw her in Russia in December to expect a court date about a month after the dossier delivers. So now we are holding our breath and hoping for that phone call about our court date! Since we received the referral in May and expect our court trip to happen in February, this truly is a paper-pregnancy! I've been making observations about what adoptive parents experience throughout their paper pregnancies and how they correlate to natural pregnacies, but I will save that for another day. Except to say that we are now in our 8th month and giving in to our nesting tendencies in getting the boy's room all set up....
For now, I will say thank you to all of you for your prayers and support!
Looking forward to sharing more with you as we continue our journey to becoming a forever family... Me and Paul and Aleksandr and Mikhail, aka Sasha and Misha! (Plus Casey, Oliver and Princess too!)
In January 2008 Paul and I attended an information session about hosting a Russian orphan for summer camp. The purpose of this program is to give the children respite from their lives at the orphanage while learning about another culture during summer vacation. They range from 6 to 12 years old, go to day-camp every day and otherwise live as a family with the hosts. A bonus to this program is that over 90% of the host families choose to adopt the campers. It's not obligatory, but it happens quite often. Since we kept being drawn to the idea of adopting a school-aged child instead of an infant, and were leaning towards international adoption instead of domestic, this program sounded like a great match for us. Plus, the info session was just a town away from us, so it felt like fate was giving us a gentle nudge in that direction...
We filled out our application...
Because we've waited a long time to become parents, Paul and I decided to apply to host siblings instead of just one camper. Our idea was that the children would have each other to speak to during the camp visit. Since we do not speak their language other than reading phonetically from our Russian/English crib-sheets, they would be able to converse in their native Russian. And once we moved forward with the adoption we would have an instant family and they would be a bridge for each other from their past to their present lives. We chose the youngest age group, 6 to 8, because we felt that this age would fit in nicely with our brother's children who live locally to us. We asked for brothers on the application, but also said that we were open to a brother/sister pair as well. When going through the adoption process you learn that the more open you are to many possibilities, the more likely you are to have success. This philosophy truly came into play when we received our referral...
We've been matched, but it's a little different than the others...
The agency called to tell us that this year's campers were a bit different from the past years... they were either much younger than expected or a little older than expected. I held my breath as they told me that we were matched with two brothers, a 4 year old and a 3 year old. This was our match because we had also indicated on our application that we would accept the referral of a sibling set even if one child was too young to participate in the summer camp program. We knew that it would mean an extra trip to Russia to meet the younger child, but it was too soon to think about travel. Besides, the youngest age for this program is 6, so we thought what's the likelihood of a younger sibling, anyhow? Well, you could have scooped me up off of the ground when I received that call! First of all that our camper was only 4, and secondly that he had a brother that was only 3! Like so many times in life, you can make all the plans you want and set your expectations, but what is meant to be happens in spite of your plans. The agency sent us a picture of our camper, Aleksandr. They didn't have his brother Mikhail's picture, but they told us that if we accepted Alek, then the adoption would be contingent upon our adopting both brothers together. Of course we were fine with that. And we were happy with their ages too, because that would mean that they would have less to re-learn when they started school here. Wow, now this was becoming real!
His big brown eyes were soulful
Thank goodness for email because we received Alek's picture right after the referral phone call and he looked so cute! I will always remember what Paul said to me when he opened the email that day... "yes, that's my son!" It clicked for Paul right away. Hook, line and sinker, he fell in love with Alek that day. It really warms my heart to remember this.
I fell in love with Alek when I met him...
He is sweet and fun and sensitive and an absolute delight! With a constant smile on his face and a bit of mischief too, he is a perfect fit for our family. So we told the agency right away that we wanted to adopt him and started to complete the first set of paperwork to move forward with the adoption.
Fast forward to December 2008...
After submitting tons of paperwork since summer camp and becoming more familiar than I ever wanted to be with the local county clerk's offices and the State Department's procedures for getting certifications, authentications and appostiles, we were invited to Russia to meet Mikhail in December 2008! Hooray! Since our referral was a little different than the typical camp referrals, we had to travel on a first trip to meet Alek's brother Mikhail and accept him as our referral. Since we met Alek during camp, we already completed our acceptance documents to proceed with his adoption. After accepting Mikhail's referral, we can then move forward to adopt both boys in one court proceeding. We had a wonderful time meeting Mikhail and reuniting with Alek. Our week went by fast, we submitted the necessary paperwork there and flew home. Saying goodbye was heart-wrenching because Alek understood that we were leaving and was not happy about it. Mikhail is still young and didn't understand. But Alek did and that broke my heart. I know that we will travel soon to adopt them and bring them to their new home, but that knowledge just doesn't fill the void I feel without them. Paul and I watch the videos that we took of them every day, just to feel close to them. Once we complete the adoption we will show our friends and family the video that Paul created about our adoption story.
Our adoption journey will take about 9 months to complete...
We received confirmation last week that the rest of our dossier will deliver this week to our region in Russia. The coordinator told us when we saw her in Russia in December to expect a court date about a month after the dossier delivers. So now we are holding our breath and hoping for that phone call about our court date! Since we received the referral in May and expect our court trip to happen in February, this truly is a paper-pregnancy! I've been making observations about what adoptive parents experience throughout their paper pregnancies and how they correlate to natural pregnacies, but I will save that for another day. Except to say that we are now in our 8th month and giving in to our nesting tendencies in getting the boy's room all set up....
For now, I will say thank you to all of you for your prayers and support!
Looking forward to sharing more with you as we continue our journey to becoming a forever family... Me and Paul and Aleksandr and Mikhail, aka Sasha and Misha! (Plus Casey, Oliver and Princess too!)
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