We had a lot of fun last night watching the Super Bowl.
Paul's brother and his wife host this party every year at their house. The kids are so much fun to play with... K colored some beautiful pictures and E played the violin for us. They set us up nicely with a delicious party-sized foccacia sandwich made with grilled chicken, roasted peppers and other goodies, plus a 4 foot hero that was half American and half Italian- yummy!

As I was eating dinner I wondered if there is such a thing as a "Russian" sandwich or hero
It would be great if we could get one of those for our sons' christening party, in honor of their heritage. (Note: I used my inner voice as I mulled that one over, though, as I am not sure just how much more the family can take of us talking about Russia. I can definitely say that I have Russia on the brain these days because we have completed all of our paperwork and are simply waiting for our court date so we can go over there and bring our sons home.) Our family has been really supportive with weekly phone calls and emails asking how our adoption is progressing, how we are getting things ready at home, how much Russian we have memorized for our flights home, etc. I really appreciate our family's interest, and we have several friends who have been wonderful in terms of support and advice too. Building a family through adoption is a very positive and happy thing, no doubt just like when you have a child biologically.

Paper pregnancies are a conundrum for so many
Unless people have experienced adoption themselves or through a close friend or family member, I've found that people really don't know what to say or how to act around us. We learn at an early age that with a typical natural pregnancy the baby grows and develops throughout the pregnancy until delivery in about 9 months from conception. There are pregnancy books that document what to expect week-by-week and month-by month. The majority of mothers go this route to become mothers, so most are experts on that topic. But adoption still seems to be a mystery of sorts for so many. Even for family, sometimes.

How do you bond when the belly isn't growing, but your family is?
I accidentally saw pictures of my sisters-in-law preggie belly that were taken at monthly intervals at my in-law's place. Even though they hadn't mentioned taking them at the time, probably out of sensitivity to our infertility issues, I can honestly say that I was happy for them to have that bonding experience and shared excitement about bringing a new child into the family. The pictures are a wonderful piece of family history that the children can enjoy in years to come and the adults can reminisce about as well.

So how do you bond with family over the concept (of adoption) when there's no conception (of a biological child)?
In short: It depends on each person. With my Mom, we talk about the activities we will do together with the boys, she's bought them toys to play with and clothes to wear. She has a toy box at her house that is overflowing with books, puzzles and games. (Apparently the toys with the most parts come to our house and the others stay at her house. She says it's in the grandparent's manual, but I'll have to check on that!) My aunt is crocheting both of the boys afghans for their beds, in colors that coordinate with the nautical theme in their room. My friend Mary picked up jogging suits for them and calls me for a weekly update. Paul hears from his brothers all the time about the adoption, and our sister-in-law is a wealth of information about baby websites, teaching reading and counting, health and medical resources and other great things that a new mother should know. My brother has also been so supportive through phone and email. I am truly grateful to everyone's support, for keeping in contact with us and asking for updates when they don't hear from us. This kind of support is invaluable and much appreciated!

Most days there is no update...
Since international adoption is such a waiting game once the paperwork is done, most of the time there is nothing new to report. But our hearts are full of expectations- we are about to become parents for the first time, after all! I've been reading and researching so much about language acquisition, what to look for in a pre-school or camp program, what kids should know by age 4 and 5, the list is endless! I hope that attaining as much knowledge as possible now will help us once the kiddos are actually here and we are a family.

Paul and I know how lucky we are...
...to have each other, to have (finally) found our children, to have our family and friends by our sides. We will be forever grateful to everyone who is sharing our journey of building our family through adoption!

Until next time... xoxo... Deb