This morning's breakfast conversation...
Sasha: Do you know that Misha lost a tooth again? Look.
Misha: Yes. But the tooth fairy forgot to put a dollar under my pillow.
Mommy: When did you loose your tooth?
Misha: Last night after I went to bed. It was loose so I pulled it out. Then I put it under my pillow. She didn't come. Why?
Mommy: Well... she only gives money when you put your tooth in the special tooth fairy pouch that she gave you when your first tooth fell out. The pouch helps her find it in the dark. Where is the tooth now? Let's put it in the pouch now.
Misha: I don't know. It's not under my pillow. She took it without leaving me a dollar. That's not fair.
Sasha: Why did Misha loose another tooth? I am older. My tooth should have come out. Now he will have a dollar and I won't.
Mommy: I am sure that she will make up for it tonight. She probably couldn't find it. Sasha, teeth come out when they are ready, not when we want them to come out. Be patient.
Geez, how a seemingly innocent white lie can grow! Thank goodness for my improv days way back in HS. Guess the tooth fairy will have to leave a dollar for the lost tooth and a make-up dollar for missing it last night! Remember when your problems were so simple?
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
What's 365 times 5?
1825. Eighten hundrend twenty-five. That's how many days my son Sasha has missed out on family life. 1460. That's how many days my son Misha has missed out on living in a family setting too. My sons were 4 and 5 years old when we adopted them. That's 1825 fewer days of hugs, kisses and life lessons taught on an hourly, daily, weekly, monthly basis. And 1460 few days living in a house with loving family and enough food on the table and clean clothes to wear each day.
So the next time you see my children or other children acting up who were adopted at an older age like mine were multiply 365 by how old they were at adoption. Think about that number of days and then how long you think it might take them to learn everything a kid raised since birth in a family setting typically knows at that age.
Instead of sitting back and passing judgments like, "he should know better", use that moment as a teaching moment and show the child the "right" way to act. You will have turned a frustrating moment into a teaching moment, which is something to feel good about. You will have helped that child to understand what is expected of him or her. And if they do not listen, let the parent know what is going on. Never be physical with somebody's child, or with yours for that matter. Use tolerance and patience instead. Call upon your upbringing in a family setting since birth and apply that to help these children to learn the lessons that they missed.
If a child comes into your family through adoption instead of birth, like it or not, these children are a part of your family. Love may be too much to ask of some, but you have the responsibility to act with civility at the very least. Hopefully with patience and kindness as well. Please do the math and act accordingly.
So the next time you see my children or other children acting up who were adopted at an older age like mine were multiply 365 by how old they were at adoption. Think about that number of days and then how long you think it might take them to learn everything a kid raised since birth in a family setting typically knows at that age.
Instead of sitting back and passing judgments like, "he should know better", use that moment as a teaching moment and show the child the "right" way to act. You will have turned a frustrating moment into a teaching moment, which is something to feel good about. You will have helped that child to understand what is expected of him or her. And if they do not listen, let the parent know what is going on. Never be physical with somebody's child, or with yours for that matter. Use tolerance and patience instead. Call upon your upbringing in a family setting since birth and apply that to help these children to learn the lessons that they missed.
If a child comes into your family through adoption instead of birth, like it or not, these children are a part of your family. Love may be too much to ask of some, but you have the responsibility to act with civility at the very least. Hopefully with patience and kindness as well. Please do the math and act accordingly.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I'm the Long Island Co-coordinator for Bridge of Hope 2011!
I am so pleased to be a co-coordinator of the Bridge of Hope program for 2011. Along with my friend and co-coordinator Marisa, yesterday Patrice Gancie, program director for Bridge of Hope gave us the good news... we have been chosen to be the co-coordinators for next year's hosting program-hooray! Having been hosts in 2008 and 2009, Marisa and I have a lot of good experience to share with the new host families.
This program offers Russian orphans the opportunity to spend about 1 month with an American family, usually in the month of July into early August. We will begin outreach to find host families this fall, with info meetings to be held in November, January and February.
Bridge of Hope for Russian Children is a cultural program in which the children live with a host family and go to summer day camp during the week. They also enjoy living with their host families at night and on the weekends, doing anything that families typically do- swimming, biking, arts and crafts, sports- you name it. Some kids like to watch cartoons and movies. When we hosted, our child preferred to run and play instead of sit and stay. It is now 2 years later and he is still a very active little boy!
To come to America for summer camp, the children and their escorts take a 3.5 hour car ride to the airport from their village in Far East Russia, fly about 9 hours to Moscow and then take another 9 hour flight to NY JFK airport. (They also fly into the DC, Virginia, NJ, and Chicago areas, depending on where the host families are located.) Once in America, they are greeted by their host family, who take them home for their summer camp experience. A group picnic and reunion is held during the hosting period so that the kids can see each other and the escorts can check in with them as well. Past host families also go to the picnic to reconnect with their Bridge of Hope friends.
Bridge of Hope is how my husband and I met our eldest son Sasha in the summer of 2008. We fell in love with Sasha right away and when we inquired whether or not he was available for adoption - eureka he was! It turned out that he had a younger brother who was too little to go to camp that summer. We were thrilled that Sasha had a brother because we always wanted to have more than one child, so this was divine intervention at its best. Their brotherhood would always be a bridge from the past to the present. They would always have somebody close by who understood what it was like to go from the groupa in Russia into their new family life in America.
And so our adoption story began that summer of 2008 through the Bridge of Hope summer hosting program. We completed the adoption of our two sons in the spring of 2009. Our boys have now been immersed in English, academics, sports and fun in America since May 2009 and they are thriving. In fact, they often give us a run for our money with questions, observations and lots of fun and silliness on a daily basis. We are truly blessed and thank the heavens every day that we decided to be a host family for Bridge of Hope.
Many people host just for the cultural experience of giving a school-aged child a wonderful camp experience. Others host because they hope to adopt an older child. Either way, the program needs host families every year. Applications are accepted each winter with referrals made in early spring and hosting is done in the summer. If you live on or near Long Island, NY, please contact me if you would like more information about this terrific summer hosting program. Or go to http://www.cradlehope.org/BOH/default.htm for more information.
This program offers Russian orphans the opportunity to spend about 1 month with an American family, usually in the month of July into early August. We will begin outreach to find host families this fall, with info meetings to be held in November, January and February.
Bridge of Hope for Russian Children is a cultural program in which the children live with a host family and go to summer day camp during the week. They also enjoy living with their host families at night and on the weekends, doing anything that families typically do- swimming, biking, arts and crafts, sports- you name it. Some kids like to watch cartoons and movies. When we hosted, our child preferred to run and play instead of sit and stay. It is now 2 years later and he is still a very active little boy!
To come to America for summer camp, the children and their escorts take a 3.5 hour car ride to the airport from their village in Far East Russia, fly about 9 hours to Moscow and then take another 9 hour flight to NY JFK airport. (They also fly into the DC, Virginia, NJ, and Chicago areas, depending on where the host families are located.) Once in America, they are greeted by their host family, who take them home for their summer camp experience. A group picnic and reunion is held during the hosting period so that the kids can see each other and the escorts can check in with them as well. Past host families also go to the picnic to reconnect with their Bridge of Hope friends.
Bridge of Hope is how my husband and I met our eldest son Sasha in the summer of 2008. We fell in love with Sasha right away and when we inquired whether or not he was available for adoption - eureka he was! It turned out that he had a younger brother who was too little to go to camp that summer. We were thrilled that Sasha had a brother because we always wanted to have more than one child, so this was divine intervention at its best. Their brotherhood would always be a bridge from the past to the present. They would always have somebody close by who understood what it was like to go from the groupa in Russia into their new family life in America.
And so our adoption story began that summer of 2008 through the Bridge of Hope summer hosting program. We completed the adoption of our two sons in the spring of 2009. Our boys have now been immersed in English, academics, sports and fun in America since May 2009 and they are thriving. In fact, they often give us a run for our money with questions, observations and lots of fun and silliness on a daily basis. We are truly blessed and thank the heavens every day that we decided to be a host family for Bridge of Hope.
Many people host just for the cultural experience of giving a school-aged child a wonderful camp experience. Others host because they hope to adopt an older child. Either way, the program needs host families every year. Applications are accepted each winter with referrals made in early spring and hosting is done in the summer. If you live on or near Long Island, NY, please contact me if you would like more information about this terrific summer hosting program. Or go to http://www.cradlehope.org/BOH/default.htm for more information.
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