What's 365 times 5?

1825. Eighten hundrend twenty-five. That's how many days my son Sasha has missed out on family life. 1460. That's how many days my son Misha has missed out on living in a family setting too. My sons were 4 and 5 years old when we adopted them. That's 1825 fewer days of hugs, kisses and life lessons taught on an hourly, daily, weekly, monthly basis. And 1460 few days living in a house with loving family and enough food on the table and clean clothes to wear each day.

So the next time you see my children or other children acting up who were adopted at an older age like mine were multiply 365 by how old they were at adoption. Think about that number of days and then how long you think it might take them to learn everything a kid raised since birth in a family setting typically knows at that age.

Instead of sitting back and passing judgments like, "he should know better", use that moment as a teaching moment and show the child the "right" way to act. You will have turned a frustrating moment into a teaching moment, which is something to feel good about. You will have helped that child to understand what is expected of him or her. And if they do not listen, let the parent know what is going on. Never be physical with somebody's child, or with yours for that matter. Use tolerance and patience instead. Call upon your upbringing in a family setting since birth and apply that to help these children to learn the lessons that they missed.

If a child comes into your family through adoption instead of birth, like it or not, these children are a part of your family. Love may be too much to ask of some, but you have the responsibility to act with civility at the very least. Hopefully with patience and kindness as well. Please do the math and act accordingly.